Card 246
by Joelle8
Summary: A collaboration between me, Dove's Wing, and StrawberryFields4EverandEver. Recent information has been unearthed, revealing Arthur Trent to be a traitor to the Cahills. This is how three very angry girls get their revenge. WARNING: Extreme insanity!


_**NOTE: This is a collaboration between **_**Dove's Wing**_**, **_**StrawberryFields4EverandEver**_**, and I.**_

**_XxxxxxX_**

Card #246

Arthur Trent felt himself falling, falling, falling down until he landed on a hard, cold surface with a loud "Umph."

He groaned in pain. "I think I need some pain relievers," he murmured to himself aloud. "Where-" He cut himself off abruptly, for he had just spotted three extremely large and _frightening_ shadows. Unwillingly, fear exploded inside him and he felt himself freeze with terror.

The three large figures stepped out of their shadows, and Arthur trembled before he saw that they were all teenage girls.

Then, he saw that each of them was wearing a different shade of black and the Madrigal crest. He gulped. "Who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare," one of them stated, her eyes narrowed. She began cackling, and just as Arthur was wondering what on earth was wrong with this girl, one of the other girls cried out,

"Jo! Enough!"

The girl stopped cackling and pouted. "But, Strawberry, it's so fun!"

"We have a job to do, though," the third girl pointed out.

Jo sighed. "Oh, fine, Dove."

The three girls turned back to Arthur. For a moment, silence reigned. Then, Strawberry called out, "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here, Arthur Josiah Trent."

"How do you know my name?"

"That is for us to know, and you not to find out," Dove declared. "Basic point is, we know about the thirty-nine clues. And about your family."

"What do you mean?"

"OOO! OOO! Can I tell him? Pretty please please, with donut holes on top?" Jo pleaded, bouncing up and down. Arthur found himself wondering whether she was dropped on her head as a baby.

"Sure," Strawberry said. "You're the one who figured it out in the first place."

"YAY!" In an instant, Jo's demeanor changed from mildly insane to serious and foreboding. Arthur didn't even have time to blink before she proclaimed, while pacing back and forth in front of the podium,

"Arthur Josiah Trent, you have been called here to this courtroom t be charged for traitorous activities against the Cahill family and, most directly, your wife and children, Hope, Amy, and Dan Cahill."

Arthur's jaw dropped. How did she know...?

"This information is proved by the evidence found on Card #246, courtesy of the 39 Clues website, titled 'Secret: Arthur Trent'. On the front of that card, your occupation was listed as a mathematics professor/family traitor. You were photographed peering around a wall, standing in front of a gate with a large, bold letter 'V' on it."

She paused her pacing and speech to glare at Arthur. He winced. Strawberry and Dove cackled behind their hands from where they stood.

Jo went on, "On the full profile for the aforementioned Card #246, it was revealed that while you are not a Cahill, you did know all about the thirty-nine clues. I quote the overview of Card #246, which this information comes from:

"'The hunt for the 39 Clues has revealed many secrets about Amy and Dan's parents: Hope and Arthur's 'vacations' were actually Clue-hunting trips; they were framed for murder in South Africa; and they were killed for one of their Clues. After Amy and Dan learned the truth about the Madrigals, they were relieved to know that, at the very least, their parents had been working for the good guys. However, there's a secret in their father's past that would shake them to the core. Arthur wasn't born into the Cahill family. But, unlike most non-Cahills, he knew all about the Clues. And he had a secret mission of his very own . . .'"

Arthur gulped. This was not good.

"Further research revealed that you, Arthur Josiah Trent, are a member of the Cahill's enemy family, the name of which begins with a V, and is speculated to be Vesper. The Vespers sent you to spy on the Cahill family, particularly the Madrigal branch-" all three girls glared at him, and he remembered the Madrigal crests they wore "-and to gather as many of the thirty-nine clues as you could and report what you found out to them."

Jo finally stopped talking and walked back up to join Strawberry and Dove. If looks could kill, Arthur Trent would've been dead. Again. But this time, because of three adolescent girls instead of a fire.

Oh, the horror.

"Do you deny these charges, Arthur?" Dove asked him, her voice carrying throughout the courtroom.

Arthur remained silent, his eyes scanning over the three girls. He decided not to say anything. After all, how dangerous could three teenage girls be?

Very dangerous, apparently.

"And just in case you don't want to talk..." The girl on the far left, Strawberry, snapped her fingers.

A tall man emerged from the shadows, and in his hands was a monstrously huge axe. Arthur gulped. The blade itself was bigger than the prisoner's head! Arthur must have decided that his best option was to skedaddle, because he leapt from his chair and ran out the door.

Strawberry sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Can one of you engage the marshmallow trap? I can't reach it from here."

Jo and Dove began fighting over the large red button. "I want to push it!"

"No, you did it last time!"

"Nuh uh!"

Strawberry groaned and got up. "Um, he's getting away as we speak, you know." And she stabbed at the button with her own finger.

A circle in the floor opened before Arthur had a chance to blink. He fell in, screaming as he went until his mouth hit the marshmallow fluff and was instantly sealed closed by the gooey food. He flailed his limbs around frantically, but was unable to do anything, as he was completely covered by- and therefore, stuck in- the marshmallow fluff.

Jo pressed another button, and Arthur was ejected from the pit, landing on the floor in front of them with a thud. "I bet you want to talk now, huh?" she smirked. "Well, too bad YOU CAN'T! BECAUSE YOU'RE GAGGING ON MARSHMALLOW FLUFF! HA!"

"Breathe, Jo," Dove whispered from her side. "So, Arthur. Here's the deal. If you agree to talk, then we'll get you out of the marshmallow fluff. If not, then Jethro gets to have his way with you." From the corner, Jethro waved his axe at Arthur. The girls grinned evilly.

"Well?" Strawberry asked. "What'll it be?"

Arthur glanced at the three girls through the sticky substance, his previous short lived triumph transitioning into a state of desperate panic.

_Whoever thought that marshmallow fluff and a man named Jethro would be the death of me? What kind of ridiculous name is Jethro?_

He gulped through is tightly sealed mouth as his gaze flicked over to the axe. Its blade glinted as it reflected light off from a dim light bulb on the ceiling. Jethro, who seemed to be undoubtedly stupid, flashed him a toothy grin. And for dramatic effect, he swung the axe, aimed at a very, _very_ sturdy looking steel bar.

Clang! The sound echoed throughout the room, bouncing of the walls. Arthur could almost imagine the sound waves bounding off the surfaces and racing around, and he listened with slight interest, before shaking himself back to the present. He _was_ a math professor for a living, after all.

He gazed at the bar and what he saw shook him quite badly. The axe had managed to cut through _three-fourths _of the bar, and it was now teetering dangerously. If it could slice through things that, well, then... Arthur shuddered just thinking about how a swing would affect him.

"Jethro!" Strawberry snapped. "You're supposed to use the axe on him if he doesn't cooperate, not bring the whole place crashing down!"

The executor immediately lowered the axe and muttered, "Yes, ma'am."

Jo was starting to get impatient. "So, Arthur? Make up your mind already! You don't have all the time in the world."

"Oh, yes!" Dove piped up beside her. "Did we mention that you only have a minute before we order Jethro to," she raised an eyebrow and put on a false sweet smile, "come to you."

"And that minute has now been reduced to twenty-three seconds," announced Strawberry, who was fiddling with the tiny watch on her wrist.

Arthur reluctantly drew to a decision in his mind. Anything was better than dying again, this time being murdered with an axe!

"Mmm-hmm! Mm-mi-mm-hmm-mmm!" He mumbled, unable to enunciate the words.

"Um...what did he say?" Dove asked confusedly.

Strawberry let a triumphant look settle on her face. "Get him out," she said smoothly.

Jo quickly pounced on the button before Dove had the chance to react.

"Hey!" Dove yelped. "It's my turn!"

"I get more turns than you because. . .because. . .because I'm older than you!"

Dove humphed and crossed her arms, not even bothering to protest.

A long claw-like metal figure extracted from the ceiling and reached down for Arthur, the captive. It grabbed him and doused him with a special chemical that caused all the gooey fluff to slip off like water.

"Now Arthur," Strawberry began, "You've agreed to cooperate, I assume?"

Arthur didn't disguise his frustration and anger. "Yes," he growled, his voice hostile.

"Very well. To the questioning room!" And with that, Strawberry led the others to a doorway on the other side of their current room. Jethro stood behind Arthur, axe posed and ready.

Jo and Dove brought up the rear and beamed. _Fantastic._

The girls, Arthur, and Jethro entered a very bland room, with a single wooden chair in the center. Jo and Dove pushed Arthur into the chair- with a bit too much enthusiasm, he thought- and quickly tied him up with a long, thick piece of spaghetti.

Marshmallow fluff traps? Spaghetti ropes? What kind of place was this?

"Now, then," Strawberry said once Arthur was situated, "we can begin with the questioning. Are you-"

"WAIT!" Jo cried suddenly. All heads turned to her. "We need the glowsticks! Hold on!"

She darted out of the room, and barely a minute later, returned with three glowsticks, dimming the lights in the room as she reentered.

"Are we ready now?" Strawberry asked once Jo handed her a glowstick.

"Yep!" Dove chirped happily, holding a glowstick of her own.

"Good. Now, Arthur Trent..." Strawberry abruptly shoved her glowstick into Arthur's face, too close to his eyes for comfort. "Are you, or are you not, part of the Vesper family?"

"Why should I tell you?" Arthur asked. Strawberry sighed.

"Jethro..."

"Yes!" Arthur squeaked quickly, seeing the big man begin to approach him.

"I KNEW IT!" Jo exclaimed, at a volume that left her companions partially deaf. "HA! I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT-"

"WE GET IT!" Dove cut her off. "Can we get back to the questioning now? Please?"

"Sure," Jo shrugged nonchalantly, as if she hadn't just been acting like a madwoman. She stepped forward and dug her glowstick into Arthur's cheek. "What are your feelings about fried chicken?"

"What?" Arthur asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just answer the question!"

"...Well, I've always found it too greasy..."

"HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? FRIED CHICKEN IS AMAZING! FANTASTIC! DELICIOUS! IT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND! YOU'RE EVEN MORE OF AN IDIOT THAN I THOUGHT! WHO THINKS FRIED CHICKEN IS TOO GREASY? WHAT'S UP WITH THA-"

"Breathe, Jo," Strawberry cut her off, her hands over her ears. "Anymore questions?"

"Yeah," Jo replied. She poked her glowstick deeper into Arthur's cheek. "When you and Hope Cahill met, and eventually began dating, were you aware of that fact that she was a Cahill?"

"How could I not be? Her last name is Cahill, after all."

"Don't you smirk at me," Jo growled. It was actually quite frightening. "You know exactly what I mean. Upon meeting Hope, were you aware of the fact that she was involved in the race for the thirty-nine clues?"

"N-No," Arthur stammered. It was all too obvious that he was lying. Jo's eyes narrowed even more.

"Jethro!" Strawberry snapped her fingers to get the big man's attention. "Bring me The Device."

Dove and Jo gasped. Jethro smirked and went to get The Device. Arthur gulped. "What's 'The Device'?" he asked nervously.

"Oh, you'll see," Dove promised him. "You'll see."

Jethro walked back into the room a moment later, a metal safe in his hands. Jo and Dove moved out of his way as he approached Strawberry. Strawberry unlocked the safe and gingerly stuck her hand inside. A moment later, she pulled out...

...A rubber chicken.

"That's 'The Device'?" Arthur snorted. "A rubber chicken?"

"Oh, it's not just any rubber chicken," Dove told him, shaking her head.

"Nope. It's _Strawberry's_ rubber chicken," Jo said. Her eyes had that now-familiar evil glint in them.

"What's so special about tha- OW! OW! HOLY MOTHER OF CRAP, OW!" Arthur shrieked as Strawberry repeatedly whacked him with the rubber chicken.

"ANSWER. JO'S. QUESTION!" She screamed. "NOW!"

"YES! OW! YES, I DID KNOW! OW! STOP HITTNG ME, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Arthur yelled, trying in vain to shrink away from the wrath of Strawberry and her rubber chicken.

"Thank you, Arthur," Strawberry smiled calmly. The rubber chicken hung at her side, as if it hadn't just been used to give Arthur multiple bruises. "Happy now, Jo?"

"Immensely," the other girl nodded.

"Ooo! My turn to ask a question now!" Dove squealed merrily, rushing forward to stand in front of Arthur. "Do you like Gap? The clothing store?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Well, at least you have _some_ sense," Dove sighed. Then, she pointed her glowstick so the light from it shone directly into Arthur's eyes. "While you were with Hope, did you give information about the Cahill family and the thirty-nine clues to the Vesper family?"

Arthur gulped. If he answered truthfully, he would get beaten by a rubber chicken. If he lied, he would _still_ get beaten by a rubber chicken. He made his decision.

"Yes," he forced out. Who knew telling the truth could be so hard?

"DIE! DIE! DIE, YOU FILTHY TRAITOR, DIE!" Jo screeched, lunging at Arthur. Jethro stuck out an arm, and when she hit it, she bounced backwards into Dove's grasp.

"Calm down, Jo!" Dove ordered. "Killing him won't do any good yet!"

"Yes it will!"

"Jo, now's not the time," Strawberry interjected. "We'll get our revenge eventually, don't worry."

"You- you will?" Arthur's voice was about five pitches above its normal tone.

"Of course we will," Dove responded. "What did you think the whole point of this was?"

"Yeah. There's a reason we have Jethro, after all," Strawberry added. "Now, I have another question. Do you love your wife and children?"

"Of course I do," Arthur answered automatically.

"Then why did you endanger them by spreading Cahill information to the Vespers?" Jo questioned. She seemed calmer now, but Arthur was still very, very glad that Dove still had a firm grip on her arm.

"I have my reasons," he shrugged. "And no, you're not going to get more than that out of me. Even with Jethro and the rubber chicken. Some things are personal."

"Fair enough," Strawberry nodded slowly. "So, does anyone have any more questions?"

"Yeah," Dove said. "Do you play with rubber duckies?"

"Why would you ask that?" Arthur wondered.

"Just tell us!"

"No, I don't play with rubber duckies! I'm a grown man!"

"Are you sure about that?" Strawberry arched her eyebrows.

"How would I not be sure that I'm a grown man? I think I know my age and gender, thanks very much."

"Are you sure about that?" Jo inquired, one eyebrow raised. "Are you _really_ sure about that?"

"Yes, I'm really sure about tha-"

Dove rolled her eyes. "I can see right through you, Arthur," she murmured rather eerily. Then she snapped back to normal. "Well? Confess! Do you play with rubber duckies?" She glared at him with such force that it caused Arthur to have a sudden urge to flee. The three girls all thrust their glowsticks in his face, almost blinding him.

"YES! YES, I PLAY WITH RUBBER DUCKIES!" he blurted.

All three girls burst into laughter, cracking up like lunatics. But that laughter quickly died.

The building let out a loud rumble, and large chunks of bricks and rocks began to rain down. The rooftop swayed precariously, on the verge of collapsing.

Jo widened her eyes in terror, all triumph rapidly vanishing like water falling out of a watering can. "Avalanche!"

Strawberry quickly jumped to her feet. "Quick! Get out!" She ushered Dove and Jo towards the nearest exit, which just so happened to be right behind where Strawberry had been sitting.

"Wait!" Dove cried. "I want my glowstick!" She wrenched herself free of Strawberry's grip and ran back to the main table.

Jo gasped, "Me too! " and followed Dove's lead.

"Hey! Let me out!" Arthur yelled, struggling against the spaghetti noodle that held him prisoner.

Strawberry ignored him and threw open the door, which immediately fell off and landed on the earth outside. "Geez, this place needs some remodeling!" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dove and Jo running toward a different exit. Thinking that they were getting out as well, she dove out the door, Jethro at her heels.

On the contrary, Dove and Jo had actually been running toward Arthur. Neither of them had the heart to just leave him to die. Together, they ripped off the gigantic spaghetti noodle and then made for another exit, this one behind Arthur's seat, which had been opposite Strawberry's.

"Run for your glowstick!" Dove screeched, and ran to the door, wildly waving her hands, her glowstick still grasped tightly.

"Run for donut holes!" Jo screamed at the same time.

"Run for the sake of their sanity." Arthur muttered, still uncertain to whether or not these two girls were mentally sound, especially the one called Jo. Because he was taller, he had longer strides, so he darted forward, shoving both girls in front of him out the door just as the fine piece of architecture collapsed.

For a moment, all three of them lay on the ground, breathing heavily. Jo was the first to speak again.

"That was fun!" she said perkily. She rubbed her glowstick across the bridge of her nose, as if savoring it's presence.

"You sound like Dan." Dove sighed, fingering her glowstick as well.

Arthur felt a spark inside him as he heard his son's name. "Speaking of Dan," he said casually, "How is he?"

Dove scoffed. "Do you really care?"

Arthur nodded. "Of course I care. I care about him more than she," he pointed at Jo, "cares about fried chicken!"

Jo gaped. "Nobody can care about something more than my abundant devotion to fried chicken! YOU FILTHY LIAR!"

"She's right, you know. Jo loves fried chicken more than anything."

"Yes, I noticed that." Arthur muttered, hostility evident on his face.

"DON'T YOU GET AN ATTITUDE ON ME, MISTER!" Dove shouted. She gave him another of her horrific death glares.

"Who are you, my mother?"

Dove looked distraught. "EWW! I'm a teenager! What part of that don't you understand?"

"It was a joke! Man, you're rather stupid." Now _that_ was probably the worst possible thing that Arthur could have said to Dove at the moment.

"I AM NOT STUPID! I'LL TELL YOU THAT I'M THE NERDY GEEK AT SCHOOL! AND I-"

For the first time _ever_, Jo was the one that had to calm Dove down. "Dove's always slow with jokes."

Dove took a few deep breaths. "Okay. Back to business. Come on, let's look for Strawberry. As for you..."

And just like with Jo before, they both regained their serious manner, diminishing even the thought of craziness.

Jo walked behind him and wrapped him in bubble gum tape. She left a string hanging loose so she could drag him along. "There! Come on, boy. Let's look for Strawberry," she told Arthur, as if he was a dog.

Arthur stared at them, officially convinced that they were both insane as they "looked" for their leader.

"Oh Strawberry, Strawberry, where art thou, Strawberry?" they sang together, their voices carrying merrily with the wind as they cheerily waved their retrieved glowsticks high in the air.

Strawberry coughed loudly and shook rubble out of her ears. "I am NOT doing that again," she said. And then she realized that she was alone. And kind of trapped. "JO! DOVE! GET ME OUT OF HERE," she yelled at the top of her dust filled lungs.

Jo looked at Dove. "Did you hear that?"

Dove shook her head. "Nope! Probably just the wind."

Jo did a facepalm. "And the wind has a habit of saying, 'Jo! Dove! Get me out of here'?"

Dove shrugged. "I dunno. It's not my business.

"Miss Strawberry?" It was a deep male voice with a Southern drawl. It had to be-

"Jethro! Get me out of here!" Strawberry bit her lip, thinking. "And no more chopping! We don't want the rest of this place to come down on me!"

"Roger," said Jethro as he began pulling the rubble away.

"My name is not Roger!"

Jethro got a weird look on his face, but there was no way Strawberry could see that. "Have you never been a leader before?"

Strawberry cleared her throat and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "Um, no. I only pretend to be one on Fanfiction."

Jethro chuckled. "Nice."

Strawberry stomped her foot. "Less talking, more clearing, okay?"

Jethro chuckled some more. "Whatever."

A few minutes later, Jethro had cleared a Strawberry-sized hole in the rubble and she clambered through. Strawberry blinked furiously to get herself used to the bright sunlight. Then she rounded on Jethro. "Not that I'm ungrateful to you for saving my life, but when this is all over, you are so fired. This is exactly why we don't go chopping random metal poles! We don't know if they happen to support the entire building, do we?"

Jethro shook his head "No", ashamed.

Strawberry stood on the tips of her toes, reached up, and slapped Jethro in the face. Then she looked around and saw Jo, Dove, and Arthur on the other side of the wreckage. She ran over, Jethro in her wake.

"That was loads of fun," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"I know, right?" Jo replied, bouncing her head up and down and grinning from ear to ear.

"Um, Jo? That was sarcasm." Dove whispered into her ear.

Jo frowned. "Oh."

Strawberry cleared her throat. "Come on guys. Let's finish this up."

"Yes," Dove agreed. "I need to get home for dinner. Mommy is going to serve your head for dinner. ...Haha! You should have seen your face! Like I would ever eat another human! That's sick!"

Arthur stared her. "She cracks jokes, yet she doesn't get others' jokes?"

Everyone ignored him. Now, they were all staring at him maliciously, even Dove, who was trying to stifle her giggles for a joke that wasn't even funny.

"Now, Arthur," Jo started. "Due to these recent difficulties, we'll have to close this up quickly."

"Jethro, as a punishment for destroying the building and almost killing us, you won't be able to execute Arthur." Strawberry outstretched her right hand. "Axe, please?"

Jethro pouted in disappointment, but handed over the axe to her all the same. Strawberry smiled in satisfaction and held it up, narrowing her eyes.

Arthur felt panic well up and overflow inside him. "No! Can't we work this out? I...I..."

Dove smiled sweetly, faking the appearance of an innocent girl. "Sorry, Arthur. Actions speak louder than words. And _your_ actions tell us that you're dreadfully evil."

"Yes." Jo chimed. "Have fun dying, Arthur. Again."

Arthur's last sight was the picture of three smirking girls, framed faintly against his rapidly failing eyesight.

And the last thing he heard before he died, again, was the cackling of a girl who really _had_ been dropped on her head as a baby, and Strawberry and Dove yelling, "SHUT UP, JO!"

**_XxxxxxX_**

**Dove's Wing**_**, **_**StrawberryFields4EverandEver**_**, and I hope that you enjoyed this OneShot of ours! Please review!**_


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